Paperclip = Literary Harassment

Me: Yeah.. This is word I come here kinda often. Lonely, bored, its kind of my go to thing.
Clip: Hang with me. I know how to please a woman.
Me: Well you do have access to the internet. I would hope you learned something. Sorry though ,but paper clips aren't my type ...In fact the TALKING aren't my type.
Clip: Cmon girl whats your sign?
Me:  Stop ...
Clip: Well... whatever then.

15 mins later...
Clip:Hey there! I see your screwing up your career!
Me: Huh... I'm just writing my final nursing paper. This would be a LOT easier for me if you stopped hitting on me.
Clip: Ohh well.. lets just call it version 1.0
Me: Are you saying my writing is shit?

Clip: I read all your papers. You start every one with in accordance to the profecy.

Listen I know about you.How every time someone at work asks you to do something, you page yourself on the intercom. You don't even disguise your voice.
Me:     It gets my point across.

Clip: You need to face reality!

Me: Please. I'm still deciding if that an allusion created by a shortage of alcohol

You know for a paper clip your kinda rude no wonder theres no lady clip in your life.
Clip: Me and a pencil really connected once.
Me: Thats kinky, what happened?
Clip: Sharpener. Gotta go for the mechanics chicks. I learned the hard way . One day she just wasn't there anymore.
Me: Oh she left ...
Clip: Nah not really. I still have the shavings.
Me: Wow.Your creepier than I am .

Me: One day mom came back home and she said that due to the economy, she was gonna have to let one of us go. :(

Clip: awww why are you crying?

Me: She made me sandwiches! God I miss her.
Clip: You could always get a new life ...I could probably download one of those for you..
So that paper, Id probably just delete it.

Me: Is there a delete button on you






Clip: Maybe.
Me: Wow your annoying.

Me: Your just artificial  intelligence. 
Clip: And amazingly thats still no match for natural stupidity.
Me: JUST LET ME WORK!
30 mins later

Clip: Hey bud.
Me: Im busy with my paper!
Clip: Lies! Really you need to learn honest.

Me: Another illusion...

Clip: You know that story with George Washington, how he cut down the tree and told the truth about it. Why do you think his dad didn't punish him? 

*silence*

Me: Probably because he still had that axe in his hand. :)

Clip: Your impossible.  

Me:                                                             well your a paper clip.

So mister intelligence, tell me a man secret.
Clip: *Guy fact #1 If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.*
Me: Guys suck.
Clip: I may be all rod but I wouldn't know.
Me: awwww do i sense resentment

Clip: Please as if u care about me
Me: Seriously your still angry about me turning you down . Lets move on from this. iIlive by the rule that anything I say 6 month before is inadmissible in an argument. In fact any comment is null and void after 7 days.
Clip: This was 45 mins ago !

Me: WTF?! Your a paper clip! Why are soo ANAL?!

Clip: Your impossible. I cant stand this anymore. The punctuation, the grammar, the words that just aren't Spanglish!
Me..... wait... what are you doing?! Are u self destructing? Don't think you can leave this argument my dying !

.. huh . guess i won .

Hours later


Ben: Hey girl !Why were you asleep?
Me: ukmmmm just testing my keyboard for droll resistance .. yup as I expected. It has none whatsoever.
Ben: [leans over and looks at screen]

wow you only have the cover page done!
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 Paperclips: harmless assistance or online predator?

Thesis: Get a MAC