Spring cleaning and other poetic tragedies

Its that time of year again .. no its not get a 3 second strip race [Tragedy #1]where we will then proceed to fling tomatoes at each other .. is that even a thing people ?!
  La Tomatina
 Well then.  I'm sure if starving children in Africa bothered to check their twitter feed, this would bring them to their knees.




This made their soul weep. But i digress.

SPRING TIME



So while the rest of the world is busy cleaning and dusting homes remember, there are better things to do.

 

Getting stuck with the chore only proves there is a lacking in your intelligence of not evading misfortune. I'm not saying in order to avoid doing dishes you have to go out, complete a 40 day fast, become a night walker extraordinaire, all to fulfill your mini quest of acquiring syphilis .. but i am insinuating it.

So instead, let us reevaluate our thoughts and revise out thinking, and redetermine our goals. i know a lot of people tend to do this at new years and it never works.[Tragedy #2] this is probably because you were so drunk teletabies seemed sexual appealing

Sexual advance!
pose #1 : Hips of centre,, toes pointed in, arms slightly raised, eyes saying 'come hither'  Preferred background: dark lit room, will settle for daisy forestry.

My new goals.
Learn that things CAN be that simple.

People are always listening.

And that i will never have to worry about some problems. This is actually a recent revelation.

You know when people talk to you [TRAGEDY #3] and they tell you things that have absolutely no relevant to you. And your smiling and nodding cause you wanna be there for them but all your thinking is

Whats worse you have no idea what to mucking say cause you didn't even realise these issues exist. my friend came up to me and she Looks really bummed out. And i can always tell cause shes is quite the lady.

so when i see her and her nail polish is chipped her hair is a side way pony tail and shes wearing yoga pant and a sweater .. basically me on an everyday basis, i know shit has gone down.  So like an idiot i do the whole shibang, i put my hand on her shoulder, rearrange my face into that causal look of sympathy. . and I'm like booo... whats wrong ? and i will never forget what came out her mouth.

I overpaid my bath and body credit card I'm waiting for them to mail me a cheque 

you know what that is right there Whitepersonproblem 

seriously wft. you are a university student! Do you have no shame?! You know what you can pay? my hospital bill cause i was having an aneurysm  right there.

This is NOT a real problem, a real problem is when its 8:59 and you have to be at work at 9:00 Am and you cant find your keys. Finally u realise your cat put them into the litter box through methods you'd rather not think about. Upon retrieving the keys you go outside and notice someone had wrote you a thank you note after gracelessly stealing 3 of the tires. <------- This sucks. [Tradegy #4 - you had to get up at 8]

I'm exhausted form constitutional law class <------Whitepersonproblem

Going camping and waking to find a lion between your sleeping bad and your shot gun. Regrettably realising you and your now asthma induced partner had decided to eat bacon off each others bodies.
^^^^^^^^ That sucks

My cashmere sweater feels a little itchy <-------Whitepersonproblem

So until this situation happen:

Chill out

In conclusion this year we will not make any stupid decisions.
This one:

Not so wise.  

If its another spring it means you've made it to another year. Condolences.

 Make them good decisions! They've gotten you this far. [Tradegy #5]
Thesis: A word to the pigment challenged: Stop buying cashmere! Its making your skin have standards. 

So  While bad decisions make good stories. Bragagrts die on an average of 100%

True story Asian. True story.